Wednesday, July 10, 2024

The Inheritance of Ephemerality

The shelves in my apartment are overly stuffed with books, most of which were purchased over the past two decades. But interspersed among these many hundreds of texts are a precious few that have trailed after me throughout my life, following me as I traversed both time and space, decades and oceans. One of the most precious of these old friends is American Murder Ballads, a study by Olive Woolley Burt of the category of traditional folksongs that I must have purchased at a second hand bookstore sometime in the late 1980s when I was deeply involved with a local folk music society.

My paperback copy of Burt’s book was printed in 1964, just a few years after I was born. Basically, the book and I are both of the late-Boomer Generation: released into a society on the verge of tremendous cultural upheaval.

Burt’s book, which I have sitting before me as I write this, became important to me as the only printed work I have come across that deals with a topic which has intrigued me since early childhood. (Note: American Murder Ballads is not the “only” book on the subject of Murder Ballads, but it is so far the only physical copy that I own.)

You see, I was not even 10 years old when I became aware that the pop music scene — normally the territory of boundless cheerfulness — could also create somber and melancholic songs about Death — and still get airplay and attention! That revelation came to me through the radio and the turntable.

Interspersed with the majority of songs focused on romance — the endless variations of the eternal “I Love Her but She Doesn’t Love Me!” theme — the local New York City radio stations also gave us melodramatic songs about loved ones who have died. It’s very likely that anyone of my generation will automatically recall those tragic songs of lovers lost to motor vehicle crashes, with “Teen Angel,” “Tell Laura I Love Her,” and of course “Leader of the Pack.” 

But there were also more subtle melancholic compositions about death brought about by illness, with titles like “Honey” (Bobby Goldsboro), “Seasons in the Sun” (Terry Jacks), and “Memories of Love” (Chicago) remaining most prominent in my memory alongside the more lighthearted contemplation of the afterlife “And When I Die” as performed most successfully by the band Blood, Sweat & Tears (written by Laura Nyro and first recorded by Peter, Paul and Mary).

As an adult I would two contemporary folk songs that focus entirely on the end of life: “Long Ride Home” by Patty Griffin, and “Fancy Funeral” by Lucinda Williams. Both songs are worth checking out. I also highly recommend “My Death” from the classic Jacques Brel is Alive and Well and Living in Paris.

Alongside these emotional works were songs that addressed the violence of the times, from the American war against Vietnam to the assassinations of Civil Rights leaders and the deaths brought about by overall inequality.

American aggression in Vietnam spawned songs on both side of the controversial war, with the nationalistic “Ballad of the Green Berets” memorializing veterans who lost their lives in war. But as hostilities intensified along with the number of young American soldiers killed during the presidency of Richard Nixon, a much larger body of works were recorded that referenced battlefield casualties in order to create powerful anti-war songs. This category included the ironic songs “Sky Pilot” (Eric Burdon and the Animals) and “Lucky Man” (Emerson, Lake & Palmer). Other lyric works referred more directly to the death of American soldiers but failed to gain much airplay, such as “The Unknown Soldier” (The Doors), “The Grave” (Don McLean), and much later “Goodnight Saigon” (Billy Joel).

There were also songs that addressed the victims of social inequality and those who died in the Civil Rights Movement, such as “Abraham, Martin, and John” (especially the combination “sound montage” of “What the World Needs Now/Abraham, Martin, and John” by radio host Tom Clay), “Ohio” (Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young), “Alabama” (Neil Young), and “In the Ghetto” (Elvis Presley).

And then there were songs that continued the folk music tradition of songs about historical accidents or incidents, such as “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” (Gordon Lightfoot), “The Night Chicago Died” about a fictional gangland shooting that was inspired by the 1929 Saint Valentine’s Day Massacre (Paper Lace), “30,000 Pounds of Bananas” (Harry Chapin) about an actual trailer truck crash in Scranton, Pennsylvania, and the obviously titled “Dance Band on the Titanic” (also by Harry Chapin). It would be remiss not to include mention of songs about apocalyptic crises: “Miami 2017” (Billy Joel), “It’s the End of the World as We Know It” (R.E.M.), and the dueling versions of dystopia and utopia from The Talking Heads in “Life During Wartime” and “Nothing but Flowers.”

As a child, however, a handful of the most impressionable songs came to me via the turntable, and it was these that first introduced me to the category of “the murder ballad.” For this I can thank the folk music trio Peter, Paul, and Mary. They gave me “accessible” versions of murder ballads such as “Pretty Polly,” “Polly Vaughn,” and “Lily of the West.”

Hearing and being drawn to these songs as an adolescent made me more aware of and open to the appeal of musical works that highlighted the presence of death and frailty as part of the human experience. But this fascination still flummoxes me because, you see, I had no personal reason to be taken aback or surprised by the reality of our mortality. Death was always part of my understanding of Life, the prize at the bottom of the box. It still is.

Perhaps the big shock and draw (pardon the pun) was the realization that music could be the medium through which this message is told. The airwaves of my childhood were dominated by cheerful songs, even when those same songs were moaning about a broken heart and the impossibility of mending it. The pleasure must have been in the contrast, the dark splotches on the otherwise brightly colored canvas.

Gimme Shelter?

As an adolescent I had never been sheltered from the presence and possibility of death being visited upon our loved ones or ourselves. You see, the grandparents who raised me and my siblings never tried to shield us from the reality of death.

Their generation had known the world differently. They knew Death as a cosmic force, a divinity with its own presence and will. They respected it, even as they dreaded it.

They were Eastern European immigrants in America who had been born in the late 1800s and experienced firsthand the anguish of being a colonized people caught between the martial ambitions of powerful nation states. They had survived wars.

They were also, as devout Catholics, inheritors of a spiritual system still deeply infused with traditions that were far older than the Roman Church. The Christian prayers they whispered and the rites they performed were unconsciously palimpsestic and attended to more than one metaphysical perspective.

It was their “traditional” worldview that cradled my psyche’s development from infancy to early adulthood. They had been my primary guardians, having taken my elder siblings and me into their home after my parents divorced and my mother was forced into a furious struggle of survival at a time when there were practically no structures to support a single mother.

The reflection I am engaging in here allows me to see that there was very little in my adolescent experience that would encourage me to look through rose-tinted glasses and pretend that death was not always a part of life. It was there in my family. It was there in the society.

It was there.

We were what today would be called the “working class poor.” This meant we were capable of getting through each season thanks to the financial cleverness of my grandparents. (It helped that we had a large vegetable garden, my grandmother knew how to budget, and my grandfather was a carpenter capable of repairing anything — an innate talent passed on to my older brother who could perform the miracle of resurrection upon dead motor vehicles). My mother labored seven days a week at her full-time and two part-time jobs, while we children hustled however we could to bring in spare change until we turned 16 and were legally allowed part-time employment in retail and service jobs.  

But I’m traversing well-trodden territory, rehashing memories rich with the gripes and regrets that I’ve so often sprinkled into my blog posts. Sorry about that. My thoughts tended in this direction because I cannot separate the spiritual (and cultural) experiences from the larger socioeconomic ones. You see, while my guardian grandparents never tried to protect me from the awareness of death as an ever-present potentiality, neither did the local community we grew up within.

Ours was a wonderfully diverse neighborhood just a short bus ride from Manhattan. We were a neighborhood in constant change and undergoing great economic and demographic turbulences — even as the stormy Sixties reigned all around us at a national-cultural level. The streets we roamed and roared through as children did nothing to shelter us from the reality of death or the awareness that larger histories were unfolding far above our lowly streets.

In my Roman Catholic household (and this was probably true for all of those families headed by European immigrants from other Catholic-majority states such as Italy, Ireland, Hungary, and Poland) children were expected to accompany their elders to wakes and funerals. We had to be there, and we had to “pay our respects” to whoever was in the open casket, even when we had no idea who the “dearly departed” were.

Sometimes in our teenaged years we actually did know the departed.  They were childhood friends who died of drug overdoses or automobile accidents.

And then there were the ones who went somewhere and never came back.

My earliest recollection of someone disappearing is the high school classmate of one of my much-older brothers, a young man who went overseas to serve in Vietnam and never returned. I was constantly fascinated by the chest of personal belongings he had stored in our garage, his private cache of items that he didn’t even want his parents to have access to. For as long as it remained in our garage that box would stay locked. I never knew what had become of that secret trove of a disappeared man’s treasure.

Another box was part of my childhood: the large cedar “hope chest” that belonged to my mother.  

This coffin-shaped box stays in my memory not because it held the naphthalene-scented blankets that would keep us warm through cold winter months, but because beneath the quilts and comforters was another kind of comfort, something my mother simply called “the 22.”

To this day I have no idea who was the actual owner of the .22-caliber hunting rifle, or how it had come to be secreted beneath the linens. But I somehow always remember my mother’s urgent mid-afternoon phone call from work when she asked me to tell my grandmother to disinter the gun from beneath the blankets. That was the day the frighteningly violent ’67 Newark riots turned once-quiet city streets into a warzone, and it was all happening just a few blocks from our home. Slightly more than a decade later I would pass those burnt-out buildings on my way to college and shudder at the violence that unfurled wings of fire that day and left behind crumbling, empty husks where once had been apartment homes filled with life.

Not long after the riots and their overflow of rage had burned out — leaving 26 dead and over 700 people injured — I remember accompanying my grandmother to the final mass held in an old church building situated at the edge of this battleground between despair and oppression. The once-impressive stained glass windows of the sacred place had been shattered, and the walls outside were latticed with graffiti. The church building was scheduled to be deconsecrated. That was another kind of death.

My grandmother was one of a handful of seniors from “the old country” who had come to join the gray-haired priest in bidding farewell to the only place where these transplanted souls had worshipped in the language of their motherland. She would never attend a Sunday mass again.

My brothers and I, the American born, would spend our Sunday mornings at prayer in a much newer church building that served a different parish, one untouched by the furies of impoverishment and inequality. We spoke to the angels, the saints, and the tripartite deity in English.

We were just children.

And though we were unaware of it at this, the age of our ignorance, we were certainly not growing up within an age of innocence. The world was shifting around us, and we were — all of us — caught up in the turmoil. The instability had begun long before my generation was born.

I was too young to understand why the adults whispered about the Jewish mother in the corner apartment whose husband paid me to walk their family dog when their only son went away to college. I knew firsthand that the woman was “crazy.” She was barely able to overcome her terror when she had to crack open the door to let her son’s large dog slip free so I could catch and leash him. On occasions I heard her screaming in terror though she was alone in her rooms.

And then I told my friends. We’d chortle, too young to understand the meanness behind our laughter. Our merriment was the manifestation of the barbarism all children betray when burning ants with magnifying glasses or pouring salt on slugs. We didn’t quite know why the adults scolded us for our private mockery and told us that “the poor woman” still bore on her forearm the tattooed numbers of her nightmare. But the adults never explained the meaning of those numbers. Perhaps the memory of the Second World War was still too fresh and painful for them, with the revelations that accompanied post-war “liberation” being too cold, too personally terrifying, for them to speak of to their children.

Only decades later would I remember this important detail, how the grownups spoke in hushed words about the woman’s tattoos and the numbers that signified a history so unimaginably horrible that even those who had actually come through the flames of war still couldn’t speak forthrightly about it.

We were only children, but ancient death was always among us. And despite our ignorance and immaturity, surely our unconscious minds must have sensed upon our shoulders the inherited burden of modern human history, a garland of skulls and warfare.

So, again, why was it such a surprise to me as a child when death showed up in the music we listened to?

The commercial media that catered to the late-Boomer generation born in the late Fifties and early Sixties fed us a steady diet of cultural sugar. Perhaps that is why the infrequent dollops of bitterness within this recipe of sweet amusement seemed all the more noticeable, their darkness more starkly visible against the backdrop of bright candied treats that commercial radio and television upon our plates for daily consumption.

My childhood in the late Fifties/Sixties was awash in “entertainment.” For a closer look at the “ear candy” that we consumed so much of, check out the “Bubble Gum Bereavements: Part One” post at the Grandfather Hu blog. That post and this one are part of a larger project looking at Murder Ballads that is slowly unfolding as part of the Wyrd Words column at the online magazine The Antonym, starting with a look at the darkness woven into childhood lullabies. This post is designed to accompany an earlier writing titled "Sugary Sweet Entertainments" posted at Grandfather Hu's "Hu Reads Horror" blog.

Graphic: Painting by Edmund Dulac illustrating "Stories from Hans Christian Anderson," available within the Public Domain at Gutenberg.org.